Wednesday, 15 July 2009

Britain's Loser Culture - Part 4: Why the British are Indeed Losers

These are points raised by indignant male friend denying that the British are a bunch of losers in the previous post:

LOSER GIRLFRIENDS
Girlfriend B is not responding to any of my communications. Girlfriend A (the one who would not come to dinner) says she can't that weekend.

Girlfriend B may be out of the country. Girlfiend A may be offended when I declined to join her and others in the pub the day after she declined my invitation to dinner. I asked what the action was like at the pub that evening, and she said there was no action, just a pleasant evening. I then wondered what exactly was the point of single women meeting in a pub all dolled up and then not getting any "action". Surely it would be cheaper and easier - if they only wanted to be in each other's company - to go to each other's homes instead of meeting in a pub after dolling themselves up? Such "cruise buddy" evenings were invariably disappointing and expensive, and I suggested to her that it was perhaps a little disingenuous of her to pretend that no action was being sought when clearly one would not go to such trouble and expense if one really was not looking for any "action".

When I was inviting her to dinner, she asked if the guests were male, and upon being told yes, asked what they were like. To save her the trouble and disappointment of unrealistic romantic expectations, I said "probably too old and too poor for you". It was just a dinner anyway, not an exercise in match-making, so couldn't she just come for the hell of it, I asked. The answer, as you know, was NO.

Perhaps I should not have made "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, won't you let down your hair" jokes, but I know now that she is seriously neurotic about the whole thing, as her mother hinted to me. Going out is a social ordeal and a big big deal. The rewards must be great for her to even consider such an enterprise. Dinner with two men she has never met whom she thinks she would probably not fancy is clearly insufficient inducement for her to accept.

I of course deplore this attitude and felt bound to say something to show my disapproval.

I do have other female friends, but they suffer from one, some or all the following characteristics: of being abroad, not local, not hot, on holiday, not single, wouldn't come all this way or would come and bring their dog.

FIGHTING MALE GUESTS
That the male guests would fight over my favours was said for effect but partly true. Some years ago one male friend was trying to get another to leave because the one being asked to leave had obviously had too much to drink. This exercise of apparent territorial proprietorship was considered inflammatory by the one told to leave.

LOSER MALE GUESTS AND HOSTESS
I am afraid I do think that being single suggests that one is in fact less desirable and less successful than those already coupled. I of course necessarily have to include myself in this description.

WHY THE BRITISH ARE A BUNCH OF LOSERS
I am thinking of Wimbledon, the England cricket team, Afghanistan, Iraq as well as the education and political system of this country.

Perhaps this would raise a few questions on:

1) why there are so many middle aged singletons around

2) the gender divide (my obsession with politics apparently alienates my girlfriends but not my male friends)

3) whether it is a good thing to have so many single people who are not seeking partners or who cannot find partners

4) whether it is my fault for not having more successful, attractive and saner friends

5) whether there is a cultural, societal and political explanation

6) why the radicalisation of youth with Islam is so easy to achieve in the face of the sheer demoralisation of living in a loser nation with a loser culture whose leaders are just a bunch of international losers

There is a possibility that you will be even more offended after receiving this explanation.

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