How to Find and Keep Love

Let's face it, human relationships are disposable, be you gay, lesbian or straight. Perhaps it was always ever thus because no one is in fact indispensable and unconditional love is the Holy Grail that tantalises us.

But look at it this way. If God existed, could even He have the unconditional love of his worshippers?

I rather think not. Were his worshippers to discover that He could not help grant them their wish even if He wanted to, then that would be the moment they ceased to worship him and "love" him.

Are there any atheists who, while disbelieving in God's existence, are nevertheless full of admiration for those who created the concept of an omnipotent, omniscient and eternal God, and developed Godly principles?

I suppose in this regard one could say that Abraham, Moses, Jesus and Muhammad had "developed" God and the ways He can be used to serve our mysterious purposes.

If even an omnipotent God cannot command unconditional love, why should we mere mortals expect it from other mere mortals?

If love is conditional, then what are those conditions?

Conditions are terms, are they not, and we now find ourselves talking in terms of contractual, business, partnership terms.

Since we are all so dishonest and confused about the Nature of Love, it is perhaps time that we reduce things to their essentials.

We most love those who give us most pleasure most consistently, and this must apply to people as well as inanimate objects.

Our capacity to love is entirely dependent on our ability to experience pleasure.

Our capacity to be loved is entirely dependent on our ability to generate pleasure.

To keep this partnership of mutually experiencing and generating pleasure in existence requires a great investment and expenditure of time, energy and money.

It helps enormously if there is something else bigger than the couple. In heterosexual couples this usually means children. In homosexual couples, this means some common interest or enterprise, and being indispensable to each other in more than one capacity.

Perhaps heterosexuals could learn from the gay and lesbian community, known for their promiscuity and unstable relationships, through this revealed truth?

Have I at last arrived upon the Secret of Love? Is it really all just about having common goals?

It does seem rather banal!


Jeff Marshall said…
Having common goals is certainly linked to long relationships – particularly the presence of children where heterosexuals are concerned. However, there are homosexual relationships & friendships which can be sustained for 30 years too – maybe because there is some element of shared interest, or even dependency.

Anyway, I think the reputation for 'promiscuity' among homosexuals is an unfair one today; it really belongs to the pre-AIDS era. And, by contrast in that bygone era, heterosexual women, by and large, tended to be far less promiscuous than now.

So it was against a pattern of relative stability among heterosexuals that homosexuals tended to be judged ‘promiscuous’.

However, heterosexuals today – many females especially – appear to have caught up with the gays in their taste for the temporary; whilst some homosexual relationships (based on common interests & goals) can, by contrast, literally last a lifetime.

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